A JOURNEY FROM BC TO 4

for the past few years the casteism consiousness increased in me. that because of my stay in iit's. untill then i was not aware of this phenmenon. because student culture in universities are different. my recent low track record made me to really bad about my credentials. honestly iam not brilliant. i take time to understand stuffs but hard working.

what is troubling me is that,am i passing a message that i am using SC as a shield? from my deep inside of my heart let me say that i never like to use anything as a shield. because i strongly beleive in the shield of god. i think its time to reveal some naked truth.

BC GRADE

in my mphil grade i got BC grade. technique i used for research was both qualitaitve and quantitative. santhosh helped me in quantitative technique. not me alone he helped another one guy in fulfledge. when i was asked to give the hard copy to the examiner, my guide told me " you dont talk anything to him, i will talk to him" . i beleived him blind faithly. the examiner came for via-voce. my god! the sort question he asked was horrible and he started to interfere from introduction slides onwards. any fool must be given 15 to 20 min to put his view first. when i looked at my guide he commented " that's how we will ask you should able to answer it". viva was over. the foreign university asked my grade sheet for further prcedures. so i went in the evening to get my grade sheet .my guide very cooly asked what grade you expect? i told him it's not me expecting but they were asking AB grade. again he told "you never said this to me" !!! feel happy that u passed, i struggled a lot to get this grade, you got BC grade. honestly i told every of my move to him. when i heared my grade literally i felt like crawling over the floor and cry. please think from your son and daughter perspective. will you feel happy? but then i told him thank you so much sir, i never forget you in my life. the politics behind this is again a gutter.

let me ask a question,if any one doubt my subject knowledge call all those who got 9.something and AA,AB grades and ask questions on planning and development. this is not out of arroance i am saying, but i dont know how say it.

0 TO 4

i was wonderstruck how i got this muuuuuuch mark in research methodlogy. let me confess that i am not learning any ROCKET SCIENCE here. it's nothing but any approach to conduct a reaserach thats'all. because of my personal commitments (definitely my parents never been a stumbling block) i came a month late and within a week i have to face minor exam. the term paper one is we have to submit literature review of our research work. how come a student decide his topic(narrowing down) in a month and and they have to submit for minor one. me what i had done i took my mphil lit review and submitted. he gave me 0 telling that plagiarized term paper. when i went to talk to him like a broken old music record he told the same" this cant be accepted" and finally he asked anbarasan actually what u want ? then i walked out from his room. for the second term we have review the methodlogies that are used in our studies and what we are going to use? so i wrote composite index, gini coefficient, correlation, ols regression and finally i told i will be using multivariate analysis. i am sure iam not going to use this technique. i was given fooooour marks. i dont know how they sent such big marks through email.

trust me so far i never learned anything that could help for my research.

what i understood is, these days it is easy to get marks in social sciences provided u shuld have a cell phone and discussing ability. !!!

these are my reflections of our systems.

OUTCOME

1)least twice in a class hour he says " in IIT KANPUR..." it seems he is having more hold over his institution than himself. we need to sell ourself not our institutions.

now i remember subramanya bharathi poem

sathikal illaiyadi papa....... eti udhaithu vidu papa avar mukathil umizthindu vidu papa.... .

THE POWER OF DISCIPLES.

i dont know anyone spoke about the power of disciples. everyone of us know the power of almighty, guru and gods. but there exist one power which is the forceful power can be named as the power of disciples. simple concept yet really important. they said shiva is nothing without shakthi, true. but same mythology says that shiva shattered shakthi's body into pieces when she went against the call of shiva. the logic behind is simple. the two forces must moves in the complementing manner, when any one force goes against another one, then there exist choas and disaster. this is applicable from family to environment. ie., from family to society, society to state, state to nation, nation to internatinal and finally the circle completes with environment. when our greedy forces goes against the environment forces then disaster is ensured. similarly the power of disciples too has this effect.

1) a hero/heroine remains hero/heroine aslong as the fans want him/her to be.

2) the preacher remains as a preacher as long as the listeners ready to listen

3) similarly a guru remains close to god as long as he has good disciples.

everyday i get up,my first work is looking at my guru face and i say a small tamizh phrase. i know clearly that my guru speaks bengali,hindi,english but not tamizh. however it is not that because of tamizh phrase my faith had forsaken. this is force that iam talking about. evryday my prayer through him, keep him close to god.the disciple force without his knowledge pushing him towards divinity. the analogy culd be since the demand frm one centre is incresing the gpvt gives more subsidiary and financial assistance to serve further effectively. the crowd for ramakrishna math and other spritiual org has a vast difference. that clearly says good disciples leads to good spiritual centre. so naturally in such a places the vibes will be soothing and relaxing. this is mainly due to the disciples. because thier faith and belief over the order keeps those sanyasis in right track. like mushroom many spiritual masters crop up and it will be interesting to see their disciples crowd:)

since huge amount of transactions taking place through a particular order. the master(god) will definitely take care of the leak proof channel. so guru's spiritual highness is automaitcally raised by their disciples faith. another one interesting fact is, if the group is more demanding naturally without his own will the forces pushes the facilitator further. so it is always important to allign with good order, good people, good guru and good disciple.