possessiveness Vs protectiveness

There is good Tamil proverb that goes like this ,alavukku minginaal amuthamum nanju,means if anything that goes beyond the limit even the elixir becomes poison.
Human beings have so much feelings and emotions however modern he becomes those emotions cannot go away from him/her. love ,anger,fear are some emotions that we express often.there is nothing wrong in expressing these emotions coz its apart of human behavior and expressions.the problem comes only when u have excess of the above mentioned emotions.anything that u have excess that can be called as diseases. when you get angry for no reason ,its a disease .so anything that exceeds is a disease.
similarly possessiveness also sort solid harmless emotion it can be called as disease when it becomes abnormal ,but on the whole possessiveness is not a disease. oxford dictionary says possessive as:demanding someones total attention and love. what is wrong in demanding my gal love and attention?because as a lover or husband and wife they need opposite sex love and attention.expecting a neighbors wife love & attention is definitely a mistake.
these days gals mostly misuse the term possessiveness ,for them possessiveness is a crime,inhuman .as if it was never existed in the human history.
if a gal /boy commit towards another ,they must be honest in their relationship.if ur honest then there may not be any problem in the relationship.for instance ,my wife is working in the firm,in the night me and my wife is discussing abt something ,suddenly she receives a call from her co-worker ,she attends the call and she starts to talk .very important issue here is how she conduct herself in that environment ,ok office matter u r discussing at night 10:00pm (!) may be some project, its a good reason to trust her ,but every day ur receiving a call and running away with cell has really something to say .we all blessed with 6th sense by which we can easily understand what is going on in and around us ? after her phone talk ,if she herself explain the matter honestly then there wont be any problem same applicable to husband too.instead u think more abt ur rights and freedom and feel its his/her right to talk, so why should he/she needs to explain to him ?if this idea emerges then naturally there going to be a problem in the long run ,because India is not based on individual centric but society centric.
here if a husband ask her abt the phone chat ;it doesn't mean that he is possessive ,remember he is protective. many good lovers and husband and wife never raise a issue of possessiveness ,coz for them their relationship is more important than the third person ,why ur giving more preference to the third person than to ur own lover?
i had seen ,also seeing who raise a problem of possessiveness ,they are tended to enjoy silly pleasures such as sex chat in the phone or doing some nonsense in the name of friendship.if any body raise a comment on it ,then that person is branded as possessive. there are some who always want their lover not to talk with anyone ,this is not possessiveness it is absolutely a disease.we cant live with such partner,being reasonable is very important in relationship.so if anyone raising an issue of possessiveness in the relationship that means she is not interested in u and its a signal that relationship is in fragile and finally the level of trust is degrading in the relationship.because relation ship built over not in lies and doubts but in trust and honest.