a man with blend nose, tall, uncombed hair, despite drunkard, he had a smiling face. he scolds the upper caste people in the mask of drunkard those who are walking on the road. he had not afraid of anyone becuase he had nothing to lose for a while. he always says "k.s pallan" his original name was k. subramaniyan. pallan is his nick name. he scolds every one those who have money and wealth. if he is not drunkard he used to talk very mildly with a shy smile such things we can find only in the morning time. he has some 10 children i think among them one got into govt iti (industrial trainning institute) but he left and came back to village. he shared very sadly with me that. one good thing is that he never rise(shouting) his voice with me even if he is drunkard.
recently his younger son got a BE seat in chennai college, he and his brothers hired an auto and they were announcing this allover the surrounding villages :). he also went to college and suddenly he was so clean and he used to wash his sandals and wear. i was maintaining a distance because once he asked me as"i heared that u had only BA history" i told him yes, and congragulated him and told him to go further. then i asked about his 12th group, because iam sure he cant get marks for BE for first group. he replied that he done EMR(electric motor rewinding ) solely an vocational group. and he left that bananyan tree immediately. i never shared with anyone that he got BE seat from EMR group (400 marks for practical). becuase people might say i am talking out of envy.
every weekend i used to see him sitting infront of his house and whenever i pass from the field to home ,he gives a smile just rising his butt. recently while i was under the banyan tree(nobody was there to talk). there i found ks pallan walking with unusual look, not drunkard, mildly spoken. i asked him "from where he is coming?" his reply gave a gerk for me, he went for rural employment scheme(NREGA). and at 2:pm he returned back form the job and he had the same look, i was very much disturbed by that. he just smiled towards and he went. after few days i came to delhi and my mom phoned and told pallan commited suicide by hanging himself.
i couldnt able to digest that when i was asking for the reason my mom told, some adultry problem in the home. i know his wife she is good,dirty and hard working. then i started to think of the possibilities. when i went to my grand pa's home because of medical problem ,my analysis got correlated when i discussed the issue with my friends there. he couldnt able to perform his role as a good father in the society by providing money for his BE son. this be guy (kanagaraj) every week end he used to come home. say for up and down bus charges 200 rs and 100 rs pocket money + he might have some stationary needs (200rs).so total 500rs. their family is not in the position to take immediately 500 rs in a week. a village with 60 family heads has less source for money. so naturaaly those who go out for lorry trips (loading purposes) come with such amount of money. she started to have illagal contact with such one guy.
the painful part is that he himself saw that once and he walked straightaway into the forest and hanged himself with his dothi. his son got BE, he has got needs and obiviously he likes to wear a decent slipper in chennai. here whom we have to blame. this person (pallan) never went for work and he never bothered for other stuffs, all of a sudden he was forced to do new thinks such as saving the money and earning the money. his life shifted from individual centric to money centric. even though he tried he couldnt fulfil his roel as a family head that forced his wife to take up a easy source of money. which ultimately killed him. he used to have only one lankod(used to hide only the genetal organ) and he blocks the upper caste people two wheelers and used to scold them in name of praising. his voice i still remeber... .
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